The Couch That Got Away (Thank Goodness!)

The Couch That Got Away (Thank Goodness!)

Team Valyou

Have you had your eye on a wonderfully fluffy, ever so puffy, dreamlike, seems-like-stuffed-to-the-seams type, promises-of-lounging-on-a-cloud couch? Yeah? Me too! Ever since I first rested my bones on one of those heavenly, feathery sofas, I had my heart set on owning one. It was the most comfortable piece of furniture I'd ever experienced. I imagined myself drifting away on a cloud while cherubs floated by playing harps for my pleasure...oh, and I was surrounded by rainbows...and sunsets, and puppies, and unicorns. The. Dream. 

Of course, then there was the price tag, like a damned alarm clock when I'm clearly not done sleeping. I just want to hit snooze and go back to Dream Couch and the unicorns. Mentally, I am not in a place right now to deal with that alarm clock, I mean, price tag. It's ruining all of my dreams. Ugh! I hate it.

Sorry. Things took a turn there. But seriously, I thought I found my forever couch until reality punched me in the gut. Don't get me wrong. I checked. I double-checked my bank account to confirm that, in fact, my furniture budget isn't as dreamy as Dream Couch requires if I want to make the down payment on a new house. O! M! G!!! I finally understood the truth behind the words of great American author George R. R. Martin, who said, "When the sun has set, no candle can replace it." Was there ever a love story as tragic as that of King Renley and Ser Loras? No. None. Well, until this dreadful tale of Me and the Couch I Must Love from Afar.

Heartbroken and filled to the brim with Ben & Jerry's, I took to the interwebs to find something to fill this sectional-sized void in my living room and in my heart.

Taking a Step Back

As with all heartbreaks, time, distance, and a surveyance of the other fish in the sea slowly removed some of the clouds from my heart-eyes. Like looking at old photos of a disappointing ex I had once oo-ed and aw-ed over for hours on end, I found myself thinking, “Yeah, you’re not hot after all.” Love does funny things to a person. After browsing similar sofas, I started to have this realization: my one-time dream couch wasn't really as hot as I remembered. Sure, it was cozy and comfy and hugged my body like no lover ever has before or since, but if I'm honest, it didn't look good. 

With fresh 20/20 hindsight, I recalled that the cushions appeared to be missing some fullness. Whether by design or due to settling (which I am so over in 2021), the cases seemed empty. Empty like the promises of past relationships and empty like the pints of B&J left in their wake. In truth, it was a sloppy look - saggy and wrinkled and not at all worth the price of a year at a decent state college. The pillows and back cushions seemed to slump over like the fiddle leaf fig I'm staring at in the corner of my room and remembering that I forgot to water, again. And let's be honest, no amount of water and sunlight can help that couch perk up.

Back in the Game

In my renewed search for "love", I found many available suitors. I gained a deep understanding of the plight of our favorite fairytale furniture tester, Goldilocks. The perfect furniture was almost impossible to find. Some, like the coveted and overpriced Dream Couch, were too soft. True, the sweet, sweet cloudlike embrace made me never want to leave, but the low profile, sunken-in quality actually made leaving less of a choice and more of a chore. It was the quicksand of luxury comfort. There is nothing glamorous about huffing and puffing and getting a rhythm, rocking fore and aft to build the momentum to get up and reach the remote I left two cushions over. It's just not a good look. It's not.

I thought, "Maybe it's time to admit that purely fluffy and puffy just isn't my type." So, I set out to find something...what?. More exotic? Something, maybe, Scandinavian? I admit clean lines and minimal fuss can be really attractive. After being burned by utterly soft and squishy, firm and supportive looked pretty good. And, I gave it an honest try. I really did. I have to say that Scandinavia & I looked great as a couple, but something just felt off. I missed the feathery embrace. The Scandi-style was just too stiff and too firm. My search continued.

That's when I found my sectional. Soft and dreamlike, structured and supportive - this couch had the best of both worlds. A sturdy pine frame sets the foundation for true love and lasting back support. Unlike the bag-o-lumpy-feathers situation, my new love interest had depth and layers. Like an onion. In this case, though, layers of high-density foam, soft foam, and goose feathers. It's the feathers that set my suddenly heart-shaped eyes aglow. It was almost too good to believe. The structure and support I needed and the light, fluffy embrace I desired - all in one couch! Once I sat on it, I felt the familiar embrace I had loved so deeply, but that burned me with sloppy looking cushions and outrageous pricing. There was definitely something different this time. Instead of quicksand pulling me in deeper and deeper, I felt supported. A gentle push back, a reassuring nudge to let me know I was welcome here but free to leave at any time. Sitting on this sectional was a choice, not a weighty commitment. This is the type of support I need in a relationship. A love that says, "I'm here to support you, and I will never hold you back." Like baby bear's overnight oats with almond milk, agave syrup, and fresh berries (or whatever it was Goldie scarfed down), this Feathers sectional was juuuust right.

A Couch Priced Couch

It was perfect. I was embraced in the cloudlike texture of the Feathers sectional. I was sitting fully upright without a slumped pillow in sight.  Dream Puppy was sitting safely on my lap, or so I imagined...in the showroom...full of people...watching me smile and pet my imaginary doggo. And unicorns? The Feathers couch was my unicorn - that one in a million item that most people only dream of and only the rare few discover bringing

honor and glory to their name. Maybe not that rare; I mean, you can Google it. Or just walk into a showroom. Plus, I linked it to this story. But this was my moment. Don't take this away from me. I had found my unicorn! I paused. Would this love story end in tragedy like the woeful tale of Me and the "Other" Couch? I gently placed Dream Puppy on the cushion next to me with fearful optimism, gave him a loving pat on the head, and flipped over the price tag. "Holy son of a biscuit!" I definitely said aloud, maybe a little too aloud, in the middle of the showroom. The Feathers couch - with its dreamlike embrace, comforting support, machine washable (!) upholstery, and more varied color options was priced...like a couch. Like a regular couch that regular people can afford. It was like the "other" couch, but better AND affordable.

So here I am. Loving my Feathers sectional, playing harp music my(damned)self, well, with the help of my girl Alexa, training Dream Puppy to sit and roll over, and not thinking about what's-its-name-couch anymore. My. Dream. Realized.

FeathersLiving roomSectionalSofaSoftWashable covers